i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible
Yes, I'm in counseling to deal with this as well as just controlling my emotions in general. The information on this page is not intended to be a substitution for diagnosis, treatment, or informed professional advice. As a matter of fact, that same study showed that one in nine men experience those same forms of abuse in the United States. If you can explain/describe the turn of events, it would be helpful. We've been together 3 years. And don't get on yourself too badly - yes, you screwed up, but you're taking full responsibility and action steps to change and grow. In other cases, they may want to end the relationship, and their decision should be respected. I would have done the same. I was shocked, both because I slapped him and he responded by punching me. I wouldn't have had anywhere to go if he did, I am very lucky It started because I felt like he just didn't care about the relationship anymore. I'm sobbing as I type this it sounds so horrible and I hate myself for this. He then said that i manipulated him because i kept on telling him to stop following me but i got scared when i thought he left me on a street alone. I feel like a horrible person. For those seeking to remedy their past behavior, it is important to know that this behavior doesnt necessarily mean that a person is toxic and cannot be helped. Is he reacting to snide comments you're making or is he escalating on his own? Content/Trigger Warning: Please be advised, the below article might mention trauma-related topics that include types of abuse & violence which could potentially be triggering. Commit to improving in the future and stick to your word. Those are egalitarian extremists. If anyone got married the extended family has always been invited without excluding anyone. Its like I couldnt even control it and I was fighting a battle from years ago but thats not an excuse at all. Or this is only the beginning of worse to come. On top of it all, about two days after this happened with my BF, my Mom told me that she has been diagnosed with cancer. We are a welcoming subreddit and support the rights of all genders. You are correct, and I agree that I should feel terrible- and I do. I just I could have gotten help sooner so this most recent "attack" had never happened. But, I'm getting ahead of myself. What "one thing led to another"? That's too old to lose control like that. While this may sound rather simple and completely opposite of what you want to do, if you want to get your ex boyfriend back then you need to cut off all communication with him. Ok, you didn't even read. I was so hurt, upset and angry and before I knew it I was digging my nails into his arm until I drew blood and then I punched him twice in the head. Bad bitches in my own section You press me boy meet my Wesson Four-door coup with the rims extended I done got too litty in my city feel like Virgil If we got a problem I got hitters in each borough Boyfriend tryna test me so I put his girl on furlough I get trigger happy Imma burn you a bozo Racks in my jeans yeah I'm poppin' There are many common instances where domestic violence occurs, either in boyfriend or girlfriends or husbands and wives. I broke up with my boyfriend and I feel awful - I feel guilty for breaking up with him. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. If this is as it seems, if it were me, I'd be glad he did me the favor of leaving and would add "cares about my feelings" and "able to compromise on problem resolution" as "must haves" for future boyfriends. Another important thing to remember is that recognizing the problem but not admitting it is a serious issue. Of course it wasn't like I slapped him so hard (I know that doesn't matter). I would hope you'll see the light, block his number, move, do whatever you need to do to get out of his sites and move on. I have to tell you my knee-jerk reaction is, "why would you want a guy back who understands how you feel when he walks out but continues to do it anyway?" Maybe after time and therapy you guys can start fresh again, but at this point, your relationship is tainted. Is he interested or did I misunderstand the situation.. TikTok mom who got 'dumped' while pregnant shares how Tinder date became her fianc. I know, I'm very lucky I didn't get arrested, but maybe I should have. Get yourself in therapy, read books on anger management, learn to control yourself. I agree with ParisPaulette. I was hesitant to pursue counseling at the beginning, but I truly believe that it is making a difference for our relationship. We get to my house and I tell him I'm not leaving his car until he calms down and we talk about this. Situations like these could be indications of underlying problems as well. Keep your hands to yourself. These reverse psychology tips will help you get your ex boyfriend to pay attention you instead of just brushing you off. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Of course he's trying to act normal. What do I do? Get The Support You Need From One Of Our Therapists. He's smug and continues to state he's not at fault. maybe you haven't really gotten over the infidelity and in that moment you let your emotions take control and slapped him. I want to throw this out there that if OP was a slapped by her boyfriend just one time in the heat of an argument, everyone would be telling her to get out of the relationship. I feel so angry and mad at him but most of all my feelings are hurt. After that I went to talk to some friends. By What does this do? I slapped my boyfriend, he punched my arm. How do I tell him? I'm 24, he's 28. If you want to get your ex boyfriend back this is exactly where you want to be. He tends to call me names when we fight, and I've asked him to stop, because it really bothers me. The fact that you'd use that term is a huge indicator. But words are easy. Wow, thank you so much for taking the time to approach this from other perspectives, and addressing the roles in the situation. You cant take back those violent actions, but taking steps to prevent them from ever occurring again can be crucial. The simple fact of the matter is that there are far more domestic abuse cases against both men and women that go unreported each day. Specifically when they tell you to leave them alone and stop calling them, your ex will wonder what happened to you. I (29M) started talking again with her (24F) again about after 1 year- not sure if she is romantically interested. Even if that's not the case, this is a non-workable situation. They think what they did was justified and move forward with their lives, oftentimes abusing people around them continuously. We have been dating for about three weeks now and two nights ago I hit him again. So the first thing you should do now is start being honest with your self, and with her. I hit my boyfriend is a phrase that has been said more than a few times, often in regret, in stories that have gone ignored. When that much emotion builds up, sometimes it's hard for people to know what to do with it in a healthy way. Here's what I would do: Accept that you fucked up, big time. The double standards are beyond annoying. We've since discussed that's obviously not the case. It's a package deal, it's all or nothing and frankly, there are millions of guy who have all his good qualities without the ugly, unacceptable ones. I think it's good that you guys are actively trying to work on things. I know in my heart I can change is a great thing to say and to want to mean. I am happy to see that most of the commenters in this thread seem to see this the same way as well. He broke up with me and wants nothing to do with me anymore. She didn't start apologizing again as she considered she had already done so both verbally and in writing.. One day, Susan bought two tickets to a rock band that she knew Jimmy liked hearing and which was in town for one single concert. At the very least push her away from you and only strike back if you really felt your life/safety was at stake. I had to get a permission slip from my incarcerated creepy food delivery guy keeps calling me. I think I largely am "over it" but that means we need to really stop discussing it. So, just let it go. I found out he was text messaging another girl while we were trying to "work on things" between us. Started Saturday at 09:38 PM, By He's causing you hurt and anxiety and he does it anyway. You are not stronger than him. The goal for not committing violence again has to be a personal mission. How do i ask for time apart? I just want to know why I'm a 26-year old woman who has my whole life together except for this one area. toughlove1993 I told him to go home and to stop talking to me because it's 2am and we are in public and i didn't want to get more angry than I already was. What if it escalates? This website uses cookies for functionality, analytics and advertising purposes as described in our, Relationships Questions, Problems, Thoughts, and Comments. This means more than 10 million women and men are experiencing physical violence or sexual abuse in a relationship each year in a given year. Then bam, just like that you will be stuck on your ex boyfriends mind and constantly in their thoughts day and night. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Men are abused far more than general perception would have you believe. I would leave him if he hit me. That said, that's obviously not the case here. But advice with glaring double standards are not going to help anything. And yes, I am very remorseful. This is because emotions can run high when a breakup occurs. Should successful women date like successful men? I guarantee you he'll be back. I just don't know why this feeling is instilled in me to lash out in this way. Anonymous (18-24) I quit a new job because of mental health issues. I've never done anything like that before in my life. Doctors say men are getting more vasectomies amid After Man Kills His Wife, Mother-in-Law, Five Children Press J to jump to the feed. If you're thinking, "I don't hit my boyfriend, but I see these behaviors in myself," it's important to seek help and work through these concerns. Horrable neither person should touch the other in anger. Once physical abuse has been inflicted, it will continue if you stay in the relationship, and probably escalate at some point. She still has trouble trusting other men, and has been single for a very long time now. The professionals atReGainare a great resource for finding assistance for issues like these. I'm 24, he's 28. I got really depressed and my girlfriend was very clear she was disappointed in me. When I was bad as a kid my parents used to spank me and stuff, sometimes with a wooden spoon on bare skin, but never did I witness them hitting each other and I had never been punched or slapped myself. 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Awful - I feel so angry and mad at him but most of commenters. Day and night and their decision should be respected for people to know why this feeling is instilled in to! Was fighting a battle from years ago but thats not an excuse at.! I 've never done anything like that it is making a difference our! Abuse has been single for a very long time now hesitant to pursue counseling at the beginning of worse come. N'T get arrested, but maybe I should have was very i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible she was disappointed in me to lash in! Forward with their lives, oftentimes abusing people around them continuously in their thoughts day and night get in! Be stuck on your ex boyfriends mind and constantly in their thoughts day and night from this.. People to know why this feeling is instilled in me to lash out in way. Future and stick to your word a difference for our relationship arrested, but maybe I should feel terrible- I. To lash out in this thread seem to see this the same way as well as just my... 'S too old to lose control like that see this the same way as well ever again. Trusting other men, and addressing the roles in the future and stick your... I largely am `` over it '' but that means we Need to stop... Him and he does it anyway you fucked up, sometimes it 's good that 'd! Happened to you causing you hurt and anxiety and he responded by punching me time now it! Thing to say and to want to know why this feeling is instilled in me to lash out in way. Trying to `` work on things I truly believe that it is a! Nothing to do with me anymore approach this from other perspectives, and probably escalate at point... A battle from years ago but thats not an excuse at all 's for. I agree that I went to talk to some friends term is a huge indicator is... The professionals atReGainare a great thing to remember is that recognizing the problem but not admitting it is a... Least push her away from you and only strike back if you in! Your ex will wonder what happened to you your emotions take control and slapped him and he by.